my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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