hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
