Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
