THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
being pregnant is like rehab
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
