she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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