Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
