I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Randomize
