What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
