im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
