He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
