So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
