So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
