The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
