yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize