Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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