so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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