Plan B is the new Plan A
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Houston, we have a squirter
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize