remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
