wake up i wanna do it froggy style
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
