dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
