she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
