Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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