is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Life is so much better after having sex.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
