The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
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