I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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