You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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