honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
too bad you live with your parents still
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
