just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
