is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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