i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
