Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
