i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
the condom got lost in my hair
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
So vagazzling was a success
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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