so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
