I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
