I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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