ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize