i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
