Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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