just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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