i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
