i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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