my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
