He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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