eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i just google imaged poop.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
