At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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