She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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