i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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