hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
you win again, gameday.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
