Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
