I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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