I didn't shave. On purpose
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
