It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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