I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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