It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
When are your genitals available?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
