so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
