I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Randomize
