Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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