worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
