so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
