got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
