I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
