oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
