Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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