FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
All the doctor said was why
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
