Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
In other news, I just burned my penis
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Success! We fucked roommates!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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