when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
