when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
