so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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