I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
