your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
