They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
