Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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