you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
