I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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