I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize