hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
