am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
