I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Randomize
