ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
