why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
she told me i tasted like america
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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