if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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